Category Archives: Random

Appearance

I was just trolling through facebook andddd isn’t it weird how different people can look with different hair? Above: me with brown, curly hair. It was completely untouched at that point. That is my hair color. Which is just so weird because I was legitimately a blonde baby. I was blonde till age 10 or so. And then it turned DARK brown. [That's Whitney and me and a friend in Cabo in 2009- best trip of my life, other than Barcelona.] And below: blonde, straight hair. I look SO different, no?

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Is this. a fucking. joke.

If I ever own a car….with a computer….that speaks my newsfeed to me…. just end it.

PS- I realized I may be a little late on this because it apparently aired during the superbowl, which I didn’t watch. Why haven’t I heard more about this absurdity of an idea? I mean I guess it promotes hands-free driving but SERIOUSLY?!!!!!!!!?!??!?!?!

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Conversation, Somewhere in Washington DC, 7:59, Tuesday February 15

Scene: I change television from Jeopardy (did you guys see Watson? I think he’s kind of a tool), to Glee.

Boyfriend, immediately, assertively: “I am not watching Glee.”

Me, frantic: “BUT IT’S ABOUT JUSTIN BIEBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Boyfriend: “Is it ABOUT Justin Bieber…………………or is it a bunch of asshole kids running around singing Justin Bieber songs?”

radio silence.

We’re watching Glee. Not because I love Glee so much, but because I have never loved a human more than I love Jusin Bieber. Seeing “Never say Never” in 3D on Sunday evening, one Valentine’s day eve, changed my life. I was so overwhelmed by his incredible story, his insane talent, his charisma and force of life and charm, his dedication and passion and ease around megastars like Usher at age 10, that I didn’t even know how to handle it. I am obsessed with Justin Bieber. He is so hot, and so chill, and he just has IT. That thing that words cannot describe, that makes stars stars. IT. You see in the movie how at such a young age, he was just comfortable and unfathomably confident. He was BORN for what he’s doing. Never Say Never is my favorite movie ever. We laughed. We cried. My friends and I were equally BLOWN away. The whole movie theater was in mutual awe. It ended and strangers were looking at each other like “whutttt tha fuckkkk justin bieber.” Like we are straight up BIEBER converts after the movie. I have the fever. for bieber. I want to marry Justin Bieber.

Us in our 3D Glasses at the movie

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Filed under Life and things, Music, Random

I have a confession.

I want a cat.

My whole life I’ve been a dog person and now it’s like I’ve seen the light. Dogs are too energetic. They are so needy and excited and full of hope. They are happy and optimistic and see bright things for their future. Cats are jaded ass motherfuckers that are too cool for school. You pet them and they’re like “ugh, this bitch again.”  

I want a pet that is a total sketchball. Cats are nothing if not sketch. You always see them slowly creeping out from behind a corner and looking at you like “what.” And then they just go right back on creeping. You never know where a cat has just been.

They have too much pride to excitedly jump up from their spot and run around in circles pathetically when you get home from work. They sit in their windowsill, and when you open the door after a day at work they give you a cool side-glance with a shifty eye like your entrance is the LEAST exciting thing that happened all day. They’re soft and furry and pee indoors and can’t be bothered with exercise and will sit on your lap and cuddle as long as they’ve played hard-to-get long enough to balance out the giving of affection.

I NEED a cat.

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IT’S GROUNDHOG DAY! AND IT’S GOING TO BE AN EARLY SPRING!

This groundhog day houpla every year is seriously some of the funniest shit I’ve ever seen. All these men in tophats kowtowing to this dork of a groundhog who has zero idea what a character he is. I love when the camera zooms in on him and he just does what he does….be a groundhog. I love also how they speak in old English”here ye here ye”. They legit have a formal ceremony for Punxutawney Phil. I commend whoever gave him that name because there is nothing more classic than giving a monosyllabic name like Phil to an animal like a groundhog.

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