Category Archives: Pups

Three Scenes from a pug’s life

Have you ever seen anything as cute as this image?

This is a photographic capture of pug bliss. Or dog bliss. Or just bliss. Tyson the pug is getting his head scratched and his enTIRE BODY is limp. Every muscle in every pug leg on his pug body is relaxed. His ears are drooped back so he looks like Mr. Magoo. His eyes are closed. He is literally just like……’never stop.’

This is a pug at-attention in a crate.

And this is a pug staring at his almost-empty glass of wine like “bitch I can’t.” He wants to finish the last sip, but is too tired/drunk to do anything other than rest his paw on the table and question his decisions.

I don’t know what else to tell you besides sharing these pug images.

My life is pretty basic right now. I work a LOT, I dream of summer, and I recently re-watched E.V.E.R.Y. SINGLE episode of The Hills from season 1 through the series finale. I actually shouldn’t say ‘re-watched’ because the reason I did it was because I’d never FULLY chronologically watched every episode when it was actually on television. I just tuned it at random times when it was what happened to be on TV. I’ll tell you something. I cried in the last episode. YEAH, I DID. I cried. I also really like Lauren Conrad………………….it’s kind of awkward for me to admit since she’s pretttttty much the definition of a basic bitch. But I like…REALLY like her after going through the whole series. When she quietly departed the series halfway through season 5, I was literally devastated. Like I don’t know how to live my life NOT knowing what she is up to, even if it’s fake. I need her to be on another reality television series. I just need to know. I miss her. I miss the whole crew. I miss Brody and Stephanie Pratt. I’m literally culturally attached to The Hills. I want the option again to tune in every week and find out what trip they’re all taking….to Cabo or Vegas or Hawaii or Costa Rica. All they did was travel, shop, eat at restaurants, throw parties, and talk.  Basically….the perfect life. Why am I in love with The Hills? I could watch every episode again. Definitely something wrong with me.

I’m basically TRYING to come up with things to tell you because there is that little going on in my life. I wake up. I go to work. I tweet. I eat. I come home. I watch The Hills while getting other work done (well, now that it’s over, I watch Mad Men, or New Girl, or Parenthood or Revenge, or any other DVR’ed episodes of my favorite shows). I clean. And I go to bed. My boyfriend is nonexistent because of a deadline at work so that’s why my run-down of my life includes work/food/TV sans any mention of couple activity. Once April 13th comes (the deadline) we’re going to be in HEAVEN since he’s my partner in crime. NOT THAT my life is not interesting without my man (PLEASE, don’t even start) it’s just…..I enjoy working, I have a lot of work to do, I’m trying to save money, and I’m not going to like….take a trip to Philly on a Wednesday night to explore the culture and get a cheese-steak while my boyfriend who I live with is working until 2 a.m. You just go through periods in life where there is NOTHING happening besides work and routine, and that’s where I’m at right now. It’s not boring, it just is what it is. No trips planned, no events, no nights-out, no friends visiting. Just working for the money. It just means I have literally nothing to share.  Pugs and the Hills.

Sorry??!! If you guys ask me questions, I’ll blog about them. I’m really good at answering questions about myself. Anything in the world. Then I’ll have a springboard from which to blog, until something interesting occurs in my life.

Email = TheHyperbalist@gmail.com

Sorry for the neglect.

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Bat Pug

Is that first picture a joke? I meannnnnnnnnnn

Sorry if you don’t like pugs, or dogs for that matter, but this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. My boyfriend was playing around with Tyson’s ears and for some reason I found it HYSTERICAL. It’s the most immature thing in the world but if you lift a dog’s ears up and make them look like a bat, it’s…..so funny. It really only works with a few breeds though. Like lifting up a golden retreiver’s ears would just be lame, and not funny. Lifting up a pug’s ears legit makes them look like the dude from Star Trek. Like this:

And here’s one of Tyson without his ears pointed up like a bat or alien.

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Snaps of a Pug

Love the classic cocked head tilt. So pug. We love this lil guy. Even though he’s ruined every pair of shoes I’ve ever owned. #puppies.

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Pictures of a Pug

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TOO CUTE

My boyfriend just sent me a link to this video, with the subject line “For Beaux.” [Beaux is my fat little wrinkled pug]. He works in sales for a company that helps small business increase their online visiblity with social media and things like that, so basically he gets to learn about all kinds of hilarious, amazing, what-the-fuck small business out there, including pet communicators [pyschics.] This most recent one [which falls into the category of hilarious/amazing] is apparently a luxury dog bed business and um…this video is unreal. First of all, IT’S ALL/ONLY FRENCH BULLDOGS. For real? Secondly, the colorful chevron pillows and the faux fur beds are actually really stylish and cute. And thirdly, the photographer is unknowingly HILARIOUS when he says: “The way that I like to work is more…guerilla style.” HAHAHAHA. omg. Seriously. People and their pets….

I also love how French bulldogs always have such a ‘can’t-be-bothered’ look to them. Their eyes just ooze sarcasm. Like “what. the fuck. do you want.” It could be the second coming of Christ and their expression would read: “been there. done that. over it.” They don’t give an eff about anything. Pugs are THEE most expressive animal on planet earth…if pugs could talk, they would hyperbolize. Give a pug a treat and they’d be like “omfg this is the best thing I’ve ever eaten in my LIFE.” A French Bulldog would be like “whatever.” In fact pug’s eyes alone hyperbolize. Pugs get giddy and excited and spastic and bump into things out of excitement and have heart attacks because the pizza their owner is eating looks so good. They pant and heave and freak out when they see anything that is remotely interesting or remotely resembles anything interesting. They are desperate and borderline pathetic and have the worst pokerface ever because they cannot hide shit. Haha so basically pugs are the dog verison of me, and it’s very fitting that I own one. I feel like french bulldogs , on the other hand, are chill as shit. So nonchalant about life. They just stare. They are the Mark Hunter (cobrasnake) of dogs. Pug dogs are the crack cocaine/speed of dogs and french bulldogs are the weed/xanax of dogs. Chill and unphased. You wave a really cool toy in front of a french bulldog and he’s insulted, like “is this bitch kidding me?” You do the same to a pug and it chases its tail in circles out of excitement and then passes out on the floor because it’s so overwhelmed by the stimulation. Legit.

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All I want in life is a French bulldog.

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