I’m in Marie Claire, ma. Also one meeeellion outfits, and some life

Sooo THIS is pretty cool. I’m in print in January’s issue of Marie Claire!!!! Straight-up IN A MAG. Talking about what I “LOVE” about myself. It’s hilarious to talk about what you love about yourself. They WANT you to say what you love about yourself and even though I love myself, it never doesn’t sound COMIC. Like, “I love my perfect breasts, because they’re perky and remind me of my petite grandmother.” Like what? That was a hypothetical I don’t love my breasts, they aren’t perfect since they don’t exist so there would be nothing to love. “I love my washboard abs, because who wouldn’t love to have a flat stomach bitchhhh.” hahaha it’s just hilarious. It’s supposed to be about like, self-esteem, buttttt I scrolled through some of the old features online and some of the things people say are questionable to say the least. “I love my whole body because people always tell me I look like a super-model.” COOL DUDE, COOL. “I’ve always been told I have the most beautiful eyes anyone has ever seen.” Hmmm, gotcha thanks. I think my answer was perfect : ) I also submitted that I loved my butt because it’s ALSO a visual representation of my Latin heritage like my hair. I GOT A BOOTY ON ME, MAN. And that shit creeps up on you. It’s page 52 in the mag if you wanna know. In the picture I’m wearing a mauve-pink waffle-weave oversized sweater I got at Free People in Brooklyn several years ago, a pair of wax-coated oxblood denim pants from DL1961 (TOBS), and a gold collar by Mona Assemi from Style Etoile. I wore the same pants in THIS post for DL1961. I’m obsessed with them.

So anyhoots, I’ve been getting many requests from my dear readers for mooooooore outfit posts. I never thought I’d say that. BUT IT’S TRUE,  and who am *I* to deny my readers what they want. Now, as you *SURELY* know by now, outfit posts for me are pretttttty much me, in the mirror, with the iphone, in front of my closet, in my room. And by ‘pretty much’ I mean, that’s exactly what they are.  But……really what MORE do you need. It documents the outfit. You can see what I’m wearing. MAYBE it inspires you to craft a similar outfit. MAYBE you like what you see. MAYBE you think it’s hilarious to see me take pictures of myself in the same spot over and over again, because you know what, let’s call a spade a spade, it’s a god damned selfie. Don’t think I don’t know it. Don’t think I could forget it. It’s. a. selfie.  I’M PAINFULLY AWARE. But I simply don’t *care* enough about what I’m wearing to go out into a meadow with a photographer every time I wear a cute skirt-and-tee ensemble. Sorry that I don’t have the TIME to do that. I don’t mind me a meadow every now and then, nor a brick wall, nor some graffiti, or a cool architectural structure, but on my day-to-day basis….iphone photos in the mirror is just what you get. So HOPEFULLY that suffices for you! Maybe one day things will change. For now and for the last 3 years, this is the lazy girl’s fashion blog documentation. Courtesy of my AH-FOUN. As Rick Ross would say.

{Side note— Please do me a favor and click this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNTavDxvsnI right now and listen to the first TWO lines of this song. Please. PLEASE DO IT FOR ME I BEG OF YOU!!!!!!!!!! IT’S SO EASY, all you have to do is click and wait until he says the first lines and then you can proceed with your life, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! It starts at EXACTLY 0:20 (the 20-second mark), if you care to skip 20 seconds of him grunting and hyping up his own song, buttt why would you want to do that. Then listen to him say, “I’M SMOKIN’ DOPE, I’M ON MY SAIL-PHONE, I’m selling dope, straight off the AH-FOUN.” And better yet, watch at least the half the video because it JUST gets better. He’s HILARIOUS in this video. If you hear the line “i’m smokin dope, I’M ON MY SAIL-PHONE” and don’t laugh, there might be something wrong with you. He is a walking SNL skit. Like the song is tight, but  also it’s just mostly hilarious. This is the REASON that Andy Sandberg and comedians do skits like “I’M ON A BOAT.” Because rappers like Rick Ross actually rap about being on things, such as cell phones. Does he know it’s funny? Like, no, he is D-E-A-D- serious. I listen to this song all day. He’s like standing there in Miami, in front of a lambo, smoking a cigar and mean-mugging at the camera but just like…..scrolling on his iphone. Because he sells drugs off it. Obviously. Literally half of the shots are of him just, thumb-scrolling his iphone and receiving calls on it.  You THINK it’s a parody, but it’s not!!!!!! He’s not laughing at himself. I can’t with how funny this is. I love you, Rozay.

Without further adieu from Rick Ross, here are one million selfie outfit shots (okay there are SOME non-selfies, thank god), and some words about each one.

Outfit 1:

This outfit consisted of:

• a $10.00 striped long-sleeved cotton stretchy shirt from H&M
• A jade-green SUEDE short pencil skirt– vintage
• Nude open-toed Sam Edelman platform+stileto pump
• Gold Mona Assemi collar-cuff necklace
• Dark vampy nails (Essie Luxedo– one of my top 3 favorite Essie colors ever– a deep plum/black/burgundy)
• Blue-and-gold ring that’s a knock-off imitation of the ubiquitous YSL Arty ring

I also wore the exact same outfit but swapped out the nude heels for black-thigh-high boots to eat dinner with my mannnnn. haha he’s so cute I love this guy:

It really makes me happy to own and buy items that are SO so so versatile. The striped top, a $10 snag from H&M, has been worn a gillion ways from Sunday. One of my good friends visited me from Puerto Rico this September and I wore it for a FUN night out on the town with her (first we had sangria and tapas at Estadio, then we danced ’till we were in muscular pain at a gay bar):

For that outfit, I wore

• Vintage, distressed, boyfriend shorts that are the brand What Goes Around Comes Around, that I got from Style Etoile
• Skull-chain belt that I bought at Zara on clearance for like $5.00 at the mall littterally 4 years ago. I will n-e-v-e-r forget stumbling upon it. It had like a bright-red CLEARANCE tag on it, or ‘final sale’ or whatever they say, and it was like $4.99 and I was CONFUSED that nobody had bought it. It has HEARTS. FOR. EYES. (Not sure if you can tell from the pic?)

As another side note, I really really love skulls. LOVE their shape and beauty and their morbidity.  I just like how skulls/skeletons visually are. They don’t have to do anything, I just like their inherent form. They really really really please my eyes.  I like them in all forms– whether they’re depicted as art i.e. photography, painting, sculpture; or real-life skulls themselves– like alligator, monkey, and cow skulls. All of it makes REALLY good decor. A book shelf is so cool with a stack of books topped-off with a gators-skull. It’s beautiful sculpture..the lines and look of a natural skull. I LOVE pop-art esque skull stuff too– I was browsing the internet this weekend for a project (I”ll blog about it when it’s done!!), and came across these two pieces of art that I *LOVE* and would LOVE to own in large-scale:

We literally have so much skull shit in our house. For instance……………..

• A real cow skull on our chalkboard wall:

• These skeleton trays that I use for E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. (as make-up trays, jewelry trays, bar-tool trays, and wall art)

The above picture was them naked-of-objects when I first found them at their home in Brooklyn, a store called “Neda.”

I subsequently used them to store jewelry like so:

And mounted as wall decor in our old bathroom, like so:

And holding barware on our current bar shelf (cocktail stirrer, veggie peeler, wine corkscrew, bottle opener, ice tongs, etc.):

And on our current entryway railroad table to corral keys and matches:

(PS how rad is that letter holder?!!? GoodWood find, OBVIOUSLY. It’s got four little brass-ball feet that stand it up. It’s so cool in person).

(A wider shot for context of those two pieces)

• And this stand-mounted MONKEY-skull we snagged at GoodWood last weekend that is the only thing I would grab if our house was burning down. I’m obsessed with it:

I’ve been playing around with how to style that corner. It sits on the white-lacquered his-and-hers dressers in our bedroom, on the opposite side of the bed:

Skull tangent aside, another example of a unique staple I have worn a million times and ADORE is the OTHER half of that first outfit above. Not the striped shirt, but the green, suede, pencil skirt. (I count those skeleton trays as a ‘wardrobe’ staple same as the striped shirt and this green skirt,  in that they’re all items that have lived one thousand billion lives since they were purchased).

I got it at a vintage store in New Orleans called “Funky Monkey”— which, if you ever go to New Orleans you MUST go to. It has the best vintage finds I have ever found in ALL of my vintage shopping in all my years–and it was literally like, $11.00. A joke of a price. I’ve worn it in the past with a black tuxedo top (it’s a vintage DKNY cropped tuxedo vest top that I ALSO got at Funky Monkey, to be exact, pictured above), and with a blazer and Mary Janes below:

And also this past week to my boyfriend’s office Christmas party:

That outfit consisted of the skirt with:

• a fire-engine red vintage silk blouse that I got at Junction Vintage on U-Street for something like $10.00 (all the vintage I get is under $20 an item…that’s the best part about vintage! Unless it’s brand-name and unless you’re being jacked, it is cheeeap)
• my new black blazer I got at Macy’s on Black Friday
• my new spiked pumps I got at Loehman’s on Black Friday
• my gold Mona collar-cuff necklace

Speaking of that necklace, it’s unreal how much I wear that. It is my SINGLE, amazing, goes-with-EVERYTHING statement piece of jewelry. Allow me, (even though I’ve probably done this before….like seven times) to illustrate to you HOW many times and with how many different ensembles I’ve worn this gold necklace. First of all, the two outfits above:

{I was wearing it when I got photographed by Marie Claire and then we drove out to Old Luckett’s farm where I shot my DL 1961 post for THIS post}

With a graphic tee, two-tone jersey oxford button-down, jeans, & chunky ankle boots (same ones as above) on a date with my bf in DC:

With a white cap-sleeved Iro dress and punchy purple-and-red Zara heels in Philly this summer (oh SUMMER!):

I mean, no accessory in my wardrobe is as visually interesting, visually impactful, versatile, and interesting as that gold-collar cuff. My GOD what a purchase it was. And it was like $50.00!!!!!!!!!!!! And it is BEAUTIFUL! I throw it on with LITERALLY e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. I have seen imitation type pieces everywhere, ALL over, and no piece compares to the quality and look of Mona’s. I love love love love her jewelry, the design and result. I know Mona in person and she is so lovely and sweet, and in caaaase you’re wondering we have no business relationship WHAT so ever. I saw this piece when I was browsing Style Etoile about a year ago, purchased it IMMEDIATELY, have worn and blogged about it one million times, and because of that, have since met Mona in person because I’m like… an adoring fan.

Oh, another outfit where I wore it—- with a graphic white tee that says “Jolie”, my DL 1961 Emma leggings in bourbon that I wore in THIS post, my leather-sleeved cargo jacket, and two-tone leather and black patent-leather wedges, on a trip to NYC this fall (actually this is what I wore TO the DL 1961 showroom when I was meeting them for the first time in person!):

I also wore pretty much the same outfit this day, except with black jeans and a grey-and-leather tee, when I went to a skate park in DC where I was sexually attracted to all of the 16 year old skater dudes hanging out.

And then I got sick of the heels and changed into converse:

And then I got cold and put my jacket and scarf on. I’m being tongue in cheek. God I wish you could hear me instead of just reading me:

On to more outfits from my life recently…..

I wore this outfit to my friends’ TRIPPLE birthday party. My 3 closest friends in DC *ALL* have birthdays in November, so they had a tripple b-day party at The Science Club in DC and it was suchhhhhhhhhhhhh fun. SO. MUCH. DANCING. And SO MUCH RAPPING TO KANYE’S VERSE ON CLIQUE.

I wore this adooorrrrrable neon green tee that say “HI!” in a comic bubble. Well it’s like an upside down lower case ‘i’ that looks both like HI and an exclamation point. Love shit like that. I got it for SALE for $9 dollars at DELIA’S!!!!!! DELIA’S. YES. And once again, I discovered the shirt’s existence via one of my FAVE blogs, “Stripes & Sequins“, of the adorbs Grace Atwood.She posted about the shirt here, in this collage:

Have you *ever* seen a cuter tee-shirt??? I’m obsessed with it. So thank you Grace, for being such a good shopping scouter!

You may remember that her blog is ALSO how I found out about THESE badboys:

Which I wore here:

And wrote about in THIS post.

Anyhoots, so I wrote that green comic-bubble shirt with a navy-and-white striped BCBG bandage skirt, black booties from Bakers that MAY be the oldest thing I own in my entire closet, a spray tan (best outfit accessory, ha), and surprise suprise, my gold collar, which you can see peeking out from the hurr:

Also, I bought these BURGUNDY liquid-leather leggings from Windsor Store and WORDS could not convey how in love I am with them. I have worn them for 3 weekends in a row with tees, chunky sweaters, and either little bensimon sneakers, or boots. They are SO cute and sexy. I’m in love with them. I wore them with my Isabel Marant sherbert rugby tee (literally THE only high-end designer item I own, that I got at Hu’s Wear when it was slashed from like $350 to $140 because I would have given my soul to the devil for eternity to own this top. It is my dream creation). It was a casual football sunday and it was perfect because it was a big Redskins game and uh, the redskins are BURGUNDY so peeps though they were my redskins leggings.

I also wore them to dinner with my boyfriend’s parents over Thanksgiving, at Corduroy (best ‘straunt in DC, FYI), along with a silver-metallic-threaded slouchy sweater by Joie, and white fuzzy vest  that my boyfriend’s mom gave me for Christmas! LOOK’A'THAT VEST!! It is SO cozy cuddly fuzzy cute!! It was such a great gift. She said she gave it to me early because she knew I’d get use out of it BEFORE Christmas. CORRECT: (real rabbit fur…it’s unreal…the softest thing I’ve ever touched)

How GREAT is that vest?!Selfie in the car all cuddled up in my vest. I subsequently programmed my boyfriend’s phone to make this the photo that shows up when I call:

The leggings are glued to my body so they barely need discussion because now they’re just part of me. Also, I have them in black as well, which I purchased last year (they are so inexpensive it’s AMAZING!), except they aren’t high-waisted. But how can ANYTHING compare to a BURGUNDY pair of high-waisted liquid leather leggings? I wore the black ones on my 26th birthday last year:

Last week I went to an event at South Moon Under and got this light pink Chanel C’s tee shirt. I love it. I wore with with these lace Siwy pants I have. They are lace PANTS. I got them at Style Etoile, OBVI. All the good Siwy, Iro, Mona Assemi, WGACA, stuff I own was purchased there:

Can you tell that they are lace? They are like, see-through lace with a built-in solid-black short that goes to mid thigh. Kinnnnnnda scandalous. Love ‘em.

OKAY GUYS, this is the LAST outfit post of this post. I just like going big or going home. I don’t want to stretch this shit out and do one post a day per outfit. That’s not how I work. 37 outfit posts in one post and then I don’t blog for 2 weeks. Ha ha if any of you made it this far, I hope this was enough to fill you over for a bit.

So my mom is hilarious/the best when it comes to buying bargain finds. It’s WHERE I learned it. It’s the REASON everything I buy is some incredible price. It’s a combination of genetics, learning from her, and luck. I swear I have really weird shopper’s luck– like with very vivid specific examples. I’m not talking about some general overall ‘luck,’ I’m talking about too-weird-to-not-be-meaningful instances (I’ll blog about it some time). Whether it was shopping at Mustard Seed (this AMAAAAAAAAAAAZING second-hand store in Bethesda) when I was 15 all through high school, or TJ/Loehman’s/Marshall’s/HomeGoods/Nordstrom Rack, outlets, thrift stores, SALES, flea markets, Ikea, vintage shops, vintage pop-ups, I just don’t buy something if it’s not an incredible sale/price/deal.

And my mom LIVES at TJ Maxx. It is HILARIOUS. My friends will be like “where’s Ivy tonight— TJ?” She knows all the clerks by name, like knows their life story, and gets everything there. I have to say that she is B-E-T-T-E-R than I am at shopping there. She CRUSHES TJ Maxx. I basically got my obsession with prices from her—- a good/funny obsession, like a pride in finding sick deals. You’ve probably noticed……..that for me, saying how little something cost is part of the way I describe it. It’s never just ‘a cool skull belt with heart-eyes.’ It’s the “cool skull belt with heart eyes THAT I GOT FOR $5 DOLLARS YOU GUYS.” I say it about everything. Everything. “We got this amazing wooden bowl for $7 bucks at GoodWood!” Some people find it tacky. I’m sure. But I’m that person, love it or leave it. When someone compliments me on anything– a pair of shoes, a pair of shorts, it’s always the same thing. I’m excited for THEM to know that cool things can be bought at low prices even if they already know that or flat-out don’t care. With no knowledge of their desire to buy inexpensive things or not, I squeal and get really excited and instantly say “girl THAAAAAAAAAAANKS, I GOT THEM AT LOEHMAN’S FOR TWENTY BUCKS!!” or “you won’t believe how much they were,” or “you are so sweet, they were $9.50!”  or “um, GUESS where I got them. Just guess.” The best ones are the ones who get excited and ask questions back. “$9.50??!!! GIRL, WHERE!!” “oh this store called Mustard Seed, you MUST GO! It’s just up Wisconsin, like near the movie theater, they have the best things, I once got Ferragamo boots there for $43 dollars!”  “Oh STOP it you did NOT” “Ohhh you better believe I did!” That exact conversation has happened more times than I can count.

So anyways, back to my mom, when we were younger, she’d like, take the price tag and make me stare at it and be like “LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT IT. $9.99!!!!” And then talk about the item and it’s price for a solid five minutes. Every item always has its own story.  “Can you BELIEVE it? It was just sitting there, between a coat and a wall, and I swear, this other woman was eye-ing it, and when I grabbed it and took it to the register she was cursing herself,  I saw it and KNEW that it would fit you perfectly for that thing you’ve got at school, and then she came up to me and asked me if there was another one Alina, and we tried to find one and we couldn’t, there was only ONE in the store and thank god I grabbed it when I did.” And the thing is, THERE REALLY IS A STORY TO EVERY PIECE, and she really DID try to help that woman find another one of the shirts that my mom had found that the woman wanted and there was truly only one of.  Always. I try to deny it but as a 26  year old I am exactly her. I would hate it when I was little hahaha but  I AM HER. She would never NOT leave a tag on an item she brought home (not forever, I just mean initially haha) because she *needed* people to know how little it cost. I would always be like MOM, I GET IT, TJ MAXX HAS REALLY GOOD PRICES AND EVEN MORE THAN THAT, YOU HAVE THE SKILL TO FIND THE BEST PIECES THERE, CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THE FIVE DOLLAR CLEARANCE DRESS, THANKS. Welllllllllllllllll looks like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, friends. Because that’s all I do about anything ever. Is talk about the five dollar clearance dress from TJ Maxx. Straight up that’s all I do.

It’s pride in finding good deals is what it is. And being poor. Haha. It’s like..KNOW THIS, WORLD.  KNOW THAT I FOUND THIS SHIRT FOR $4.99 ON A RACK AT TJ MAXX. KNOW THAT I DON’T HAVE A LOT OF MONEY BUT I SURE KNOW HOW TO FIND AMAZING THINGS.

So the point of all that, was that my mom found this JOIE top at TJ Maxx for $30.00. And GAVE it to me!

A JOIE TOP

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH JOIE IS?

FIRST LET ME SAY THIS—-

I LOVE JOIE

I LOVE THEIR BLOUSES

I LOVE THEIR SWEATERS

And I *have* to get them on sale because one sweater is like $164, and one blouse is like $136. To which I laugh out loud.

And this is the best part.

My mom called me

And all she said was “Alina, do you like….or know of a brand called…J–…JOY-E? It’s spelled J-O-I-E? I got this DARLING top for you, it’s petite with these little straps and pleats and YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT. “

and I go,

“JOIE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES I LOVE JOIE IT’S LIKE MY FAVORITE BRAND! YOU FOUND A JOIE TOP AT TJ MAXX?!?! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE IT!!”

She had NO idea; had NEVER heard of them; just………………….spotted this one-of top on a rack and snatched the bad boy up.

I stopped by the house later and literally was flabbergasted at its cuteness.

IT. IS. SO CUTE. I have worn it on 30 outings since she gave it to me. Literally my boyfriend has seen it on me 4 x a week for the past 2 weeks. And my mom has called me every day to re-talk about how she found it and whether or not I still like it.

It is silk and has gorgeous pleats, the prettiest daintiest little silk-covered buttons that go down the front, teeny little spaghetti straps, two small embroidered flowers in white on the front (very subtle) and it’s just…..adorable. {PS– do you see why I mentioned my ‘voluminous’ latin hair thanks to my father in my Marie Claire thing? I have the biggest hair, it’s borderline fucking ridiculous. Like that’s some big hair. With the angle of taking i-phone shots in the mirror, it makes me look like a big freak giant bobble-head. I look more proportional in real life, I swear}.

I wore it with green cargo pants (oh those old things? They were like 20 bucks because they were the cheap Macy’s line “Material Girl”– the one that Madonna’s daughter Lourdes started. I got them 3 summers ago and it’s embarrassing how much wear they’ve gotten), and my spike Loehman’s pumps to an amazing dinner party last week–

And I wore it with my distressed high-waisted Levi’s jean shorts, thigh-high grey socks that I scrunched down, brown boots, and my black blazer out to eat Ethiopian food with some friends mid-week–

Have you ever seen a cuter top?

God there is nothing like a TRUE silk top. I never buy or own them because good silk is fucking expensive, but man, it makes for a good top.

So. If you enjoyed any of the outfits in this post, and/or like my style, here is basically a summary of my staples that I re-use over, and over, and over, and over, and over again:

I LOVE graphically interesting tees. I wear them with pencil skirts, high-waisted denim, leggings, cropped jeans, tight bandage mini-skirts, etc. There is NOTHING you can’t wear an awesome, cool, graphic tee with. A maxi skirt and boots? Sick. Love it. OVER a maxi dress? Yep. I’ve done it. Cool tee-shirts are my absolute number 1 staple.

As for shoes,  these are the only shoes I wore in all of those outfits. I repeat-repeat-repeat. They’re all pretty much staples. A nude stileto platform. A nude wedge (but it just so happens to be TWO-TONE with half light leather and half black shiny patent leather and two snap buttons on each side so you can flap them out), black converse (except studded), black stileto pumps (except spiked) and brown ankle boots with awesome buckles and straps. I find shoes everywhere. Mustard Seed, Nordstrom sales, Sassanova sales, Style Etoile (the studded converse), Loehman’s, etc.

All of these things I wear so many times. Like so many times. Like I can’t explain to you how many times. A great bandage mini-skirt in a classic pattern (city-preppy navy-and-white stripes); a great pair of vintage, high-waisted, distressed denim shorts, a cute pair of cargo pants (I love extra details, these have some diagonal striping on the hips, and cool zippers), a green suede short pencil skirt (vintage helps! the leather & suede is so money– but actually costs less money than new suede and all of the vintage suede I’ve found has been SUPERB quality, better than anything I’ve come across that was made in modern-day 2012. Win win), and a leather-sleeved cargo pocket jacket.

And don’t forget…burgundy leather leggings. Lace pants. A SUPER CRAZY COZY FUZZY COMFY white cashmere sweater (didn’t upload any pics in it, but have been wearing it obsessively over everything, especially the white Joie top), a black blazer, a white silk cami-blouse with beautiful detailing (dainty cloth buttons, pleating, and flower embroidery!), a gold collar necklace, and a great gold cocktail ring that can’t not draw attention to it

Anddddddddddddddd that’s a wrap!!!!

Wow. this may be the longest post that Ive ever written. Be careful what you wish for.

I need to get the fuck out of this room and live life.

Until next time!!! Which will likely be all about home-stuff. I got some mad home-stuff to blog about. The organization I did this weekend it is OUT OF CONTROL. Literally I don’t know who I am anymore. I feel like I just died one life and began another. Like I’m buddisht and one of my lives just ended and now I’m straight up a new human. I literally don’t know who I am. What I was able to accomplish and how it feels, is unlike anything I’ve ever felt and I’m in shock that it was ME who did it. Like…in shock at how easy it was…..how I haven’t done it for all these years and how I thought it would be so daunting and take forever and it was one fun, simple day of cleaning out a closet and making a few small organizational purchases (i.e. plastic boxes). I have never in the state of my life been this cleansed and organized. Closets. Drawers. Clothes. I have so much more to say but will save it for a new post!!! xoxoxoxoxo