^^^A fun pool party I went to the other day^^^
So up until yesterday it had been a WHIIIIIIILE since I last blogged – longest unintentional break I’ve ever taken (oops emoji x 3). A lot has happened/been happening and I have a lot to update you on! So I thought I’d start with some stream of consciousness bullet points of what I’ve been up to / thinking / eating / digging / doing etc. I haven’t blogged since April so this is literally 4 months of recap. Sort of.
- Planned my best friend’s bachelorette party (one of the most enjoyable things I’ve ever done or been part of in my life). I can’t WAIT to do a fuller post on this, and write more about the process of what it was like to plan, and all the little details and considerations involved. I was so proud of the outcome and really can’t wait to share more about this for anyone who ever might plan a bachelorette party – I think it’s probably a very helpful topic for 20 and 30 somethings who read this blog and want to hear how about how it’s done end-to-end, from a non cheesy source. I had SO much fun doing it – but it will be a very in-depth post so it’ll have to come later!
- Have read a few good books, best of which was The Paris Wife, which was SO well written! It’s about Hemingway’s first wife, Hadley Richardson, and their life in Paris in the 20’s. I was like…..awkwardly wrapped up in the book. I have always been obsessed with Hemingway, which I can’t quite identify the origin of or reason behind. I don’t know what it is (or maybe I do) but I am so drawn to him and his story, his life and wives and demons and beliefs and experiences. Like I am a legitimate Hemingway obsessive. I will spend hours reading about his wives (there were 4) and family members, learning and soaking up every single detail, wanting more and more and more. I am just…. there’s really no other word for it but obsessed. Entranced or enthralled or something. I want to know EVERYTHING and everything I read about him and about every single human being related to and ever touched by him, no matter how small a detail, is fascinating to me. Obsessed.
- Am more into farmer’s markets than I’ve ever been before. On a related note, Alex and I were about to go grocery shopping yesterday and I remarked that I want a new kind of grocery store. I am yearning for a different kind of grocery experience. I’m over all of the stores. Im over Harris Teeter, over Trader Joes, over Whole Foods, over Safeway, over Giant, over it. NEXT. I want something different. Something I can’t put my finger on but I just want a different kind of grocery experience. When we left the house a few minutes later I asked where we were going and he jokingly said apparently to write a business plan because I’m not satisfied with any of the grocery store options out there. Later we stopped by a friend’s house to film the ice bucket challenge (listen ….listen……I felt about the same way about it as everyone probably does by now, but once you’re nominated, you kind of have to do it or you feel like a real curmudgeon!!!! I didn’t want to be a scrooge. So we stepped up and Alex and I were both surprised by how much fun it actually was, and yes we donated too, RELAX); A man awaits his fate:
Just a man in a rainbow stripe towel holding two buckets:
- But so at this friend’s house while filming the ice bucket challenge, I explained to them my desire for a different kind of grocery experience and everyone (four total) somehow knew exACTLY what I meant, felt the same thing, and were like, surprised by how much they too felt there is “something missing” in the grocery store experience, without having realized it before. I was trying to articulate it more, I was like, look, I don’t KNOW if it means having a DJ bump some jams so there’s bumpin’ music as you stroll down an aisle with your cart…..I don’t know if it means moving walkways….I don’t know if it means doing for the grocery business what Virgin did for the airline business, but there is something lacking and strangely enough, a group of 20-somethings completely agreed and noted that it was interesting that they hadn’t realized it was something they wanted until I identified and articulated the need. They said it was like they needed someone to say it in order to realize that it was in fact something they’d been yearning for, without knowing it. Don’t worry about it – just Don Draper up in this bitch. I’mma redesign the grocery business for the millennial market, ‘s fine. Which brings me to my next point –
Alex and I….
- Have re-watched Mad Men from the very first episode to the very last (to date) episode. I had only ever gotten through season 5, and shoddily at that because I’d been trying to watch it from illegal websites back in the day when I didn’t have AMC so sometimes I skipped episodes etc. My opinion remains that it is one of if not the most brilliant television shows ever written. My G-O-D
And speaking of television, the Emmy’s are tonight! Yay. Not sure if Seth Meyers will be funny. I can’t say he ever made me crack up on SNL. I prefer other comedians. But I love television so I’m excited. Now Alex and I are trying to pick our next series to dive into. We are 99 percent decided on The Sopranos. Neither one of us have seen a SINGLE episode EVER. We’ve also watched all the other seminole series……Breaking Bad, Six Feet Under, Felicity (lol), House of Cards, Girls, Veep (I didn’t like this past season but think season 1 and 2 are literally some of the funniest television I have ever seen), Lost (almost), True Detective, American Horror Story, Workaholics (!!!!!!!!!!!!), Key and Peele, Drunk History, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Inside Amy Schumer, Seinfeld, South Park, etc. Only other one we haven’t is The Wire so we were deciding between Sopranos and Wire but are thinking the former.
That said we have a TON of series left to either start or finish such as……..The Americans, Fargo (both of which my brother has been urging me to watch since before the pilots even aired, so I really need to hop on those 2 stat…), also The Good Wife, Game of Thrones (never seen an episode except for the one episode I ever happened to casually and accidentally be watching — The Red Wedding. Not kidding. That’s actually a hilarious story for another time), Walking Dead, Sons of Anarchy, Justified, True Blood (only ever got through like 3 seasons for the same reason as Mad Men – bootleg internet attempts), Bates Motel, and Hannibal. Also we’ve never seen Boardwalk Empire. Jesus Christ we have a lot of TV to watch. Also one day I want to watch West Wing (never seen it, I was too young when it was hot), and ER, and Party of Five, and Ally McBeal. K never doing anything else for the rest of my life but watching TV bye.
ALSO I’m really excited to begin The Knick – a new period medical drama with Clive Owen about turn of century (last century) medical stuff. I think the concept is GEN-YUS and can’t wait to watch the first ep, buttt it’s on Cinemax which we don’t have so.
Other random thoughts
- I am never getting a non-gel manicure again. Just thought I would share that with you. The other week I decided – hey Alina, you know, it’s been a long time since you got just a plain old REGULAR, non-gel manicure, when did you get on the one-way train to gel town, never to return? since when are gels the only option? are they even worth it? what’s the big deal with gels anyways. Amirite? And then I got a regular manicure. And literally within 24 hours my nails looked like scratched-up grade school shit. And I was like, oh WOW okay THIS is why….got it. And then the next week I got a gel manicure again, AND 8 DAYS LATER MY NAILS LOOKS PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LITERALLY 8 DAYS LATER. Nothing has ever been so FLAGRANTLY apparent, the difference between paying for a regular versus gel manicure. One is lighting money on fire, the other is turning money into more money.
- For a few months I’ve been SUPER in to boxing. Like legitimate sparring, like gloves and getting punched and kicked by people. I am the worst boxer ever, I literally say sorry INSTINCTIVELY every time I do anything. You can probably imagine me boxing. It’s comical, but I LOVE it! Every time I go though, I’m super afraid because you get matched up with a partner and it’s really kind of terrifying because there are people in my class who legitimately like….FIGHT, like in rings, amateur boxers, and so I usually try to spot the girls who look like we can both mutually handle each other. But the other day everyone had already paired up so I got matched with the instructor’s assistant and he punched me so hard in the stomach that my head snapped back and I literally blacked out. And then I was pissed. Like really. REALLY? YOU’RE NOT EVEN A PARTICIPANT IN THE CLASS, it’s not like you’re trying to get your money’s worth and get a good workout, you normally stand on the side of the classroom and MAYBE coach people with words if the instructor is busy, did you really need to actively attempt to MURDER ME? Boxing as a girl is weird. I enjoy it but then when a grown man legitimately tries to knock you out, AND HE’S LIKE THE FRONT DESK GUY THAT TAKES PASSES, it feels like you’re literally being beaten up – not as exercise. Just like, attacked. I was fighting back tears and like legitimately angry at him. It was weird. What the fuck is that. He got matched up with me BECAUSE THERE WAS AN ODD NUMBER OF CLASS MEMBERS, did he need to treat the interaction like we were in a UFC fight. Please. Whatever he probably felt good about himself because he could feel stronger fighting a girl. Mall cop shit.
- I have absolutely no idea what Shake Shack was EVER thinking when they made the INEXPLICABLE decision to take away their crinkly fries a few months ago. I remember hearing the news and being like……wait………….this DOES not make sense. That is the SINGLE, S-I-N-G-L-E defining aspect of that business. That is WHY you go to Shake Shack. Burgers, yes. Custard and shakes, yes. But the crinkle fries were their THING. They were what was UNIQUE. It was what DISTINGUISHED them as a fast food burger joint. Kids loved them. Adults loved them. THEY COULD SCOOP UP CUSTARD. THEY HAD STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY. THEY WERE FUCKING DELICIOUS. I was utterly BAFFLED when I heard that they were replacing them with what I have since dubbed “basic bitch fries.” Literally just your plain old, soggy, flimsy, skinny, WET NOODLE, BLEH fry. I refused to try to the basic bitch fry for like 9 months (until last weekend I had not been to Shake Shack since they made the ASININE decision to strip themselves of the defining mascot of their brand) — but Alex and I gave them a try last weekend and they were worse than even my worst nightmare. NO. STRUCTURAL. INTEGRITY. Just imagine trying to scoop up ketchup or chocolate custard with a NOODLE. That’s what this was like. An embarrassment. A disgrace. Fucking WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING. They WEREN’T thinking, is the only thing I could conclude. But then Alex and I went home and we were so ASTOUNDED by the basic bitch fries that we googled it and found that only a few days earlier, SHAKE SHACK ANNOUNCED THAT THEY WERE BRINGING BACK THEIR CRINKLE FRY!!!!!! The timing was hilarious and so weird. The CEO posted this illogical long letter “explaining” why they made the decision and acknowledging that they “underestimated” their crinkle fry. We were thrilled they’re coming back, and that they realized the sheer magnitude of their misstep, but the letter was all kinds of wtf because he kept referencing how they made the decision based on “what they heard” and how they were only trying to respond to customer feedback and I’m like WHO. PROVE IT. WHAT FUCKING CUSTOMER *EVER* SAID THEY WANTED A BASIC BITCH FRY OVER THE CRINKLE FRY. FALSE. I CALL YOUR BLUFF. FUCKING FALSE. He’s like “we heard overwhelming demand for a different kind of fry, but we’re sorry” and I’m like…WHAT are you actually talking about? Not one customer on earth told Shake Shack they didn’t like the crinkle fry. NICE TRY dude. Glad you’re bringing them back, but no.
The hilarious letter, here:
That’s all I got for now.
Soon I will give an update on my perioral dermatitis (spoiler alert: it’s never going away ever), and I hope to post some solid “guide to DC” content soon, for peeps who wanna know, and also some of the music I’ve been listening to of late. Also I have a LOT of shopping posts coming up!!
Thanks so much for sticking around and thanks to all of the people who asked me to get back at it, I appreciate it and appreciate you and am grateful to everyone who reads this little blog of mine (and no that’s not some twee Mormon bullshit, this is actually my little blog).